Thea Erickson, a renowned surgeon, is filled with both joy and grief as her family gathers at their home on a summer night in 1995. Her elder daughter Phoebe is getting married, but even the happiness of the day feels bittersweet, as Thea grapples with a terminal cancer diagnosis. She worries she won’t be around to support her younger daughter Astra, who’s still in college, but even Thea cannot foresee what is to come—a terrible accident the night of the wedding that changes Astra’s life forever. In a last-ditch effort to protect her family, Thea arranges a secret meeting with an old family friend and extracts a promise that will reverberate long after she’s gone.
Years after her mother’s death, Astra has moved forward with a career and relationship, but she still struggles with her grief. When a man reaches out to her and Phoebe, offering a window into their mother’s past, Astra must make a choice, and her decision forces her to face what it means to love someone after they’re gone, who we decide to forgive, and how families reckon with the past.
Review
I finished When She Was Ours feeling frustrated. It could have been very good, and the fact that its potentials were not fully met is the thing that frustrated me. There are beautiful moments when the story stayed with the characters’ internal worlds, and its exploration of this particular flavour of grief (losing your parent as a young adult) is so tender. In comparison, the more twisty plot points were jarring and the villains two-dimensional.
To me, Anna Nordberg’s writing was at its best when it was reflective and character-driven. I loved the moments in the book where I got to sit with a character as they reflected on their emotions and their lives. I really enjoyed Thea’s point of view as she faced her mortality. I also really enjoyed getting a moment from each family member’s perspective across the book: Tom as he grappled with his fears of being a good enough parent on his own, Phoebe as she faces being a mother without her mother, and Astra as she navigates her grief. All of these moments feel very grounded and real. I also enjoyed their interactions with one another. I have read quite a few books with dysfunctional families lately; it is lovely to read about a family who genuinely adore each other for a change.
I struggled when the narrative switched gears into more dramatic plot twists, particularly later in the book. These twists involved characters that felt more archetypal (like ‘mean girl’) than real people, which sat strangely when we also have such beautifully written main characters. They also throw off the pacing of the book for me. The slow, thoughtful passages did not build the kind of momentum needed for suspense, so then it felt too slow. Alternatively, the more dramatic plot point can feel like it comes out of nowhere. I really struggled with the third act for this reason. I think I see the themes that it was reaching for, but I wish it had been executed differently.
There is a romantic plot in the book, but I found myself wishing there was more focus on Astra, Phoebe, and Tom, and their shared yet unique experiences with grieving Thea.
All in all, there are some genuinely poignant moments in When She Was Ours, and I enjoyed the explorations of anticipatory grief and bereavement. However, the plot and pacing detracted from the overall experience.
Thank you to Mindbuck Media for the review copy.
Review by Priscilla
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